hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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