Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize