Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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