So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize