Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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