He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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