every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
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When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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