that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
