i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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