I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Text me some of your sweat
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
