as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
