is your mom at the bar?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you win again, gameday.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
