And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I licked your asshole in confidence.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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