remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
