11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
In other news, I just burned my penis
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
