literally had 100 drinks last night.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize