I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
