Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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