How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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