i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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