How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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