how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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