Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
