I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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