I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
