Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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