The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
