It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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