are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think I am morally bankrupt
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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