Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
