We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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