My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
