everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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