id be glad to
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize