What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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