Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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