Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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