How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
handjob tips. give me some.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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