Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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