those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
