Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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