He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
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She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
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Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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