We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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