I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
