ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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