I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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