I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
