ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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