Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
