so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize