your room smells of hookers.
And success
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
