Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
