Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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