I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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