I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
