I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
