Christians are straight up FREAKS
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize