Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
