whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
