Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize