he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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