I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My balls are so social today.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Randomize
