You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
