You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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